Mosquito fodder

As much as people talk about holidays, a place in the sun, relax and drink Margaritas, it is marred, no, not only by pushy street hustlers and relentless vendors but insects of all kinds. Admit it, you want to squash ‘em, hit ‘em, shoot ’em, poison ‘em drown ‘em in short; terminate ‘em. Now, I’m not sure who you are thinking about, but for now let’s stay with the bugs, the kind that is using more than two legs to get around and even fly.
We find them in the jungle, the streets but mainly our rooms seem to have an irresistible attraction for them and so our dishes loaded with yummy stuff. Sometimes I wonder how many insects per spoon I get to consume in a sitting. At night they are the talk of the town and movie stars wish to be talked about as much. We humans are also very popular with the bugs as we can testify in the morning in front of a mirror. When nature’s call is becoming hard to ignore in the middle of the night and staying in bed is not really an option, we wake up to the sound of our crunchy foot steps from our half-sleep. Yup, it was a not fast enough cockroach. After returning to our bed, fighting off Mexican kamikaze mosquito squads is taking up the rest of the night until we fall into an exhausted sleep. No wonder that some folks can’t recognise themselves in the mirror and look for a familiar face who could possibly identify them.
Our repertoire to control this insect plague has been limited to swatting, waving and some commercially available means to keep them at bay.
But there is a new development here and how we combat our insect population. We tried insecticides, repellents, lights, zappers, chemicals, acids and even basic hand to hand, mano a mano strategies but the odds are in favour of the marauders. They come in masses in all sizes, forms and shapes, invading our habitat and pillage shamelessly our food supplies and even leave with huge quantities of our lifeblood. What they leave behind is bumps, welts, blisters and a mounting desire to take revenge. For peace loving and all life respecting beings this is a great challenge and even though we know that eventually the life force will return, hopefully in more benign form, it is with heavy heart that we conduct our killing. ( we all know this is a lie.)
In our search for effective measures we came upon several means to get rid of the invaders, all deadly. And when even one of the enemy is vanquished we have a devilish delight over our success. We make jokes about the way the got squashed, electrocuted or poisoned before or after they had breakfast.
-Oh look. This one tried to get away with your blood. And see how flat she is now? Quick! Wash the blood of your hands or they will have evidence against you in a Court of Law. Or; This one is so ugly now that even her mother will not want her back.
Wow! Nice and crispy. Want a taste?
Others get mashed so bad, even god would have trouble to reassemble them.
When we get lucky to spray them, we remain close to the Legs-up-and-kicking, spinning and doing the Pilates workout exercises infected bug to our own risk to health just to see them meeting their Maker.
Due to concerns to our health, we came across a new method of eliminating our adversary. Booze! Yes, you read right. Booze like in alcohol. We went to a Drugstore and bought a bottle of 90% pure alcohol, filled it into a spray bottle and lay in ambush for our victims. It’s just like in some bars Down Town where the girls in their sexy outfits wait for a suitable and unsuspecting tourist, rushes them and shoots and shoots and shoots Tequila down their throats while blowing a whistle. The victim does seem to like this and staggers away with an euphoric grin on his face singing a Mariachi tune, Ay-yay-a-yay, on top of his lungs.
We think it is great. We throw a party, invite all the critters, free booze, all you can get, get them sloshed and watch them die on alcohol, It’s a killer party. The few who get away will have a hang-over that will last them for the rest of their life. And what more, they die happy, possibly with a song and a grin on their face or whatever you may call that frontal part of their head. But for sure they have a more pleasant passing then before. We hope word gets around and we will be host to many of their kind. The other bugs, you know the type I did not talk about, are not invited but we will think of something as to what to do with them.