23 INSIGHT

Ivan indicated to Gábor to come with him and they excused themselves and walked toward the lagoon. The sun was lower now and it was late afternoon. A breeze brought relief from the midday heat, and they remained under the shadows of the trees, making sure not to walk under any coconut trees. Ivan had had enough of narrow escapes and Lundy was a good example of what could happen if one would connect with one of those lethal nuts.

The two found a split log, which made a bench to sit on, and they sat down, looking out to the waters of the lagoon. To the other side was a line on the horizon. The water was an incredible turquoise and blue and it was as clear as crystal. Gábor looked at Ivan and wondered how he should start a conversation when his friend turned to him and began.

"Gábor, you must be wondering what is going on in my head about Leo and I must explain to you some of the ideas I have. I want to talk with you about it first without going through Leo because I don't know how it would come across to him, so I think it better to just outline an idea that I have to get Leo introduced to society. Are you interested in hearing what I think?"

"Of course. How can I not be interested?"

"Okay. We can link and share with Leo and Helena after, and see what they think. First, understand that I consider Leo as my protégée if you don't mind. You, as his father, and Helena as a mother, are too close to see things the way an outsider does. You want to make sure no harm gets to him and you want to keep him away from people. I can't blame you, but at the same time, you must also see that he must live his own life and deal with people. It will not be easy and if he does not know how to deal with them, it will destroy him. You know, the only way to learn how to swim is to get into the water, and that is exactly what I want to do, with your permission of course. I will teach Leo how to swim, expose him to the possibility of drowning and swallowing some water and I know you will hate me sometimes.

Nevertheless, I care about Leo and I would like to see him walk amongst people without fear, to act with dignity, and to have friends and be self-confident about himself. I know that is what you want for him too. You wonder what I may have in mind, and you have a right to know. It will not always be possible for me to tell you ahead of time what I need to do, so I will ask for your trust. I promise you that I will do my best for Leo or die doing so. Will you give me your trust?"

Gábor listened without interrupting Ivan and saw in his eyes the determination to do what he could to help Leo, him, and Helena.

He searched Ivan's face for a minute then offered his hand. "Yes."

Ivan took it, stood up, pulling Gábor to his feet, hugged him, and said with a husky voice. "Gábor, you honour me. I will never let you down."

"Now Ivan, what is your idea?" Both men took their seats again.

"It is not a solid plan yet and the general idea is to first teach Leo to survive, then some martial arts with their philosophical values and ethics. He needs to study humans, know what motivates them, what they fear, their hopes, and their despairs. He must learn about himself, patience, courage, limitations, and strength; his desires, and expectations, what is possible and what is not and know the difference. The first step, I think, is to be on that island until he knows what he can do. He is there now with Helena and then I will be there when you both are back in Canada. He should also be alone for a while so he learns to be independent. Then martial arts training and study, Tao, Zen and Buddhist philosophy, Christian theology and other scriptures so he will not be lost when others throw things at him. Sociology and anthropology, arts and sciences are something you can supply. After that, we could introduce him to society as an ambassador of another New Race. Depending on how fast he can learn he could be ready to meet humanity in about three years. If things go as I hope they will, he could enter school as the intelligent alien that humanity hoped to meet one day in space, except this one is from Earth. Intelligence discovered on Earth. Who would have thought it?"

Gábor laughed with him. The more time they spent together, the more he appreciated Ivan's friendship and sharp humour.

 "What do you think?"

Gábor was silent for a few minutes and Ivan watched him. This is what I love about him, he thought. He never rushes in and thinks before he speaks.

"As a general idea it sounds good, but I need to talk it over with Helena before I commit to a crazy proposal like this, Ivan. Do you think people will take to an idea this far out, the way you present it? They have a hard time accepting vegetarians if they are meat eaters and vice versa. You've heard Vai talk about the problem she has in school because of her resistance to studying church propaganda, and she does not even closely resemble Leo's appearance."

"But that is exactly the advantage Leo has, Gábor, he is extremely different. It will be easier for humans to accept strangeness in an alien, rather than in a human. You would expect an alien to be different, but for a human to be different is dangerous. What Leo needs to prove is his superior intelligence over animals, but not too much or people will get scared. Just a bit more than human, so they think they would be able to profit from his intelligence. The collective intelligence of humans wants to be able to exploit another's skill and knowledge and as long as it benefits them, they will tolerate him."

"But he is not an alien, Ivan. He was born from human stock, and somehow Leo mutated into his present body."

"Look Gábor, let me be blunt. Your problem is that you want Leo to change into a human because you have a problem accepting his present form. You think something is wrong with Leo. The truth is that Leo is perfect as he is. Your thinking is not.

When Leo was born, you expected him to be a healthy human being, and when the changes became apparent, you thought you or Helena were some kind of freaks to give birth to a cat. Understandingly, you panicked. Anybody would have. It's never happened before and you wanted to blame someone or something for Leo's looks. The fact is it doesn't matter how Leo looks; he is an intelligent being. Before you found out that Leo is intelligent, you acted as if you were somehow superior over animals because you couldn't recognize intelligence, and you're not alone in the world with that misconception. I bet 99% of the world thinks and feels that way. But now you know better. There are no illegal aliens on this planet, only stupid people who would like us to believe it to maintain the status quo and the power over the people. You know as well as I do that Leo is highly intelligent. Let people think that he is an alien.

Don't present him to the public and try to make him a product of a normal human. Humanizing will kill him for sure. As an alien, he has a much better chance to survive and even to rise above his present stage. You still want him to act like a human being so people won't think of you, Leo or Helena as weirdoes and thus overlook the fact of his intelligence and the opportunity to rise with him. You are not ordinary people. You've made mistakes while Leo grew up. You didn't teach him to talk; you didn't play with him, as you would have if he were a human child because you thought he was a freak of nature, at best an animal. Hiding in the bush you thought to protect Leo, but in reality, you were hiding from people and their judgment about you and Helena. You tried to fit Leo into society even if it would have meant accepting him as a child with Down's syndrome. Nobody could blame you, but now you know the truth and must face reality and make the best of it. Use the facts and build on them. Leo is giving you an opportunity you never had before. Life handed you a lemon; sweeten it and make lemonade; I'm sure you've heard that before. It is time for Lena, Leo, and you to make steps to come out of hiding and claim your place in this world."

Unexpected, these words ripped open a wound Gábor thought to have healed, and it felt more painful now because it was the truth. Gábor's ego flared up before he could take control of it and he felt sudden anger rising like a tidal wave and with balled fists, he jumped up from the bench, turning to face Ivan.

"Fuck you. Do you think I don't care about Leo?" he exploded. "I've tried to protect him since he was born and I've raised him and I want him to be safe from society. How dare you tell me my thinking is wrong? You'd better have a good answer, Ivan, or our deal is off."

Gábor's eyes flashed and his face distorted with anger and pain. He felt attacked and questioned. His entire life he had lived to please people, doing a lot of things to be liked and accepted by them to the point of giving up his own individual tendencies and inclinations, and then Leo's birth forced him to relinquish all that which he had worked so hard to achieve. The plan to make Leo disappear so they could continue living among people respected and as conformed citizens with normal children was all but a glasshouse in which Leo was the brick. He crouched and raised his fists, ready to battle his friend who dared to destroy his world.

Ivan didn't engage in the dance of anger. He remained seated and replied calmly.

"Gábor, I have never doubted your intentions to care for Leo, but your care comes from your own need of self-protection. You felt you had to protect Helena and yourself from the stigma society would have put on you for having given birth to a mutant, if they'd have found out. I believe your relationship to Leo has changed since you found out Leo is an intelligent being, but your old thinking is like a bad habit, hard to change overnight. Your love is real and you need to get away from the paradigm of protection and learn how to be vulnerable. Hardness, if not tempered, will shatter with a hard blow.  Look how angry you are and willing to fight when you feel attacked. I have not even attacked you, but that self-image you've carried around for so long has become your identity. That is creating the problem. I have dealt a blow to your ego, your self-image, or identity if you prefer that word better, and you feel attacked. Who are you really? Are you your self-image, or the intelligence that created the image?

Your idea, that you are a human, and accepted in their society, you must look like a human, is what your problem is. When you look at Leo, you see that you and Helena have given birth to a freak of nature, not to intelligence, and that is your dilemma. He is intelligence in the form of a cat, something extraordinary. Accept him. Do you see what I mean?"

Ivan's words were like concussion grenades, hitting Gábor without mercy, penetrating his walls of conditioned and accepted beliefs and shattering them like brittle crystals. He staggered as if hit by bullets. For a moment, he felt a rage and desire to rip out Ivan's throat, to annihilate this man in front of him, but then unexpectedly something broke.

Anger, hatred, fear and unspeakable ugliness that had built like bile in his entire body, all mixed into a hot ball of putrid rot and decay swelled out of proportion and suddenly burst like a boil full of puss. The world began to spin, turning upside down, mountains turned to valleys and rivers into stone. Searing tears welled up in his eyes and with the sudden realization; he saw how much truth there was to Ivan's words. His knees buckled and he collapsed and let out a scream from the depth of his being, then another and a dam holding a billion hectoliters of muddy water surged and washed through him, sweeping away concepts of who he was, and what he believed.

Judgments of right and wrong, beauty and ugliness, all tumbled out and lost structure. He sobbed and his body shook with the force of a machine gun fired by his own hands. A freezing permeated his entire body, compacted, heated up and then exploded with savage heat. Gábor, in a heap on the sand, curled up into a foetus ball. He was no longer aware of himself. A seizure assaulted him and for a long time, he lay on the ground while Ivan knelt by his side and watched over his friend as he convulsed in agony.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gábor calmed down and his tear-streaked face turned up, he rolled onto his back, straightening his body and he opened his eyes. Focus came back and he looked at Ivan as if he saw him for the first time. Then, recognition of all his illusions came back to him, and a quizzical look changed into a curling of his lips like a smile and he began to laugh, then it changed and sounded like crying, then back to laughter. Ivan could not help but join in the laughter and he hugged Gábor with tears in his eyes. They hugged each other, laughed, cried together for minutes, and slowly let go of each other.

"Wow, quite a catharsis you went through my friend. How do you feel?" Ivan wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and Gábor blew his nose, but somehow he felt better.

"Easier, but raw."

"I can imagine. You will be like this for at least a week. You would be wise to rest a bit. This is as good as any place and it is better you are alone for a little while to collect yourself. When you feel you're ready to see anyone then do. I'll go now to see Leilani and Vai. I have some things to talk to them about. See you later."

With that, he got up, turned back toward the village, and disappeared among the trees. Gábor let his eyes scan the lagoon. Shadows were long now and the sun was low in the western sky. Silence enveloped him. His mind was exhausted and quiet. A peaceful quality spread through him and no thoughts entered into the silence.

For a long time, he just stood there, letting the silence speak for itself and let the emotions wash through him without engaging with them. He felt raw, as he'd never felt before. He had practiced Zen meditation for many years and had several moments of Satori, but this was the most significant breakthrough he had ever experienced.

He sat and let the silence penetrate him, fill every cell of his being, and suffuse his mind and body and he sat there until darkness descended on him. He then began to walk toward the village through the wooded growth, barely seeing the path. Eventually, he saw some lights through the trees and headed for them. His sense of direction took him to Leilani's fare and he heard Ivan's bass tones, but could not make out actual words. As he got closer, he heard Vai's voice.

"And where is Sunshine coast?" He heard Ivan's voice answering.

"From Vancouver, you would have to drive to Horseshoe Bay then take the ferry to Langdale, and from there you take a road toward Secret Cove. That entire stretch of coast is the Sunshine Coast. It is pristine and "Super Natural" as British Columbia likes to boast. Not much has changed there for a long time, and now it is becoming popular with rich retirees."

"Is there snow in the winter?"

Gábor stepped up to the veranda, and the two women and Ivan turned to greet him.

"Gábor, you look as if you fell in love. Or did your wife drop in for a surprise visit?" Vai obviously had noticed his wedding band. Leilani looked at Gábor inquisitively. Vai had a curious look in her eyes and Ivan looked like a cat that had just swallowed a canary.

"I had a moment of illumination by the lagoon. This is a beautiful place and you are very fortunate to live here."

Gábor sidestepped the women's curiosity. "Ivan was telling us about Canada, and by the sound of it, it must be a beautiful place too. He told us you live not far from his place. Is it true you have deer, cougars, and bears in your backyard?" Vai asked excitedly.

"Sometimes they have a regular party going, and at other times we have to escape their inquisitiveness. They can be a nuisance on occasions."

"And you have snow there, don't you?" Vai asked excitedly. Her mother was also hanging onto Gábor's every word.

"Not a lot because of the warm current coming up from Mexico and it keeps the winters mild, but sometimes we have enough to cover cars with."

"I don't believe it. I have never seen snow. Ma did in England, and she said they have the same thing that you have in Canada."

"Snow?"

"Fog."

"That's true. At least on the West Coast."

"Sorry to cut in, but if you want to see the Tamaaraa, we must go now. The ori, Polynesian dancing, will be in a few minutes. The drums are sounding already and I hear ‘himene,' singing." Vai looked with bright eyes at Gábor and a naughty smile played on her lips.

"You need to get a lei and so does Ivan," she said and rushed off. Both men looked at each other. Did Vai know what the word meant in Canada and the US? Leilani had her pareu on and a flower garland on her head, like Vai, and then Vai returned with two flower garlands and hung the lei around the two men’s neck. Gábor focused on Leo and a few seconds later was in the mind link. Ivan linked in as well and as the two men looked at each other, Helena was able to see them both through Leo's mind.

"My, my, my; two handsome men with two beautiful women on the prowl to heaven while a dutiful housewife is stranded on an almost deserted island keeping watch over the home fires. Whatever happened to equality?"

"Guilty as charged, Queen Helena. But be assured, your knight in shining armour will return unharmed and safe from fire-breathing dragons to tell tales from far, far away lands and fair maidens. I'll do my best to keep him from temptations, and yet, I fear for my own chastity," chuckled Ivan in his thoughts.

"There is an innocent child in this link and we are corrupting him. You will be too busy to look after yourselves and Gábor is not my property. He is with me, not for me, and you never know what benefits a little adventure can bring. We both could learn something that we never thought about, but Leo is still too young to be exposed to the games adults play," reminded Helena, only to ‘hear' Leo intercepting Ivan's reply.

"It's okay, Mom, I have the idea about the birds and the bees and Ivan has finished puberty and reached an age where he needs no instructions."

"And where, if I may ask, did you get information about the birds and the bees?" wondered Gábor. "Did something happen while I wasn't looking? So where does that sudden knowledge come from?"

"From Mom. She has not mastered concealing her thoughts yet and she thought about some activities in some graphic details … sorry Mom, not my fault. And eventually I have to learn these things too, she tells me. She suggests I read some books about ‘birds and bees', but through the mind-link, it seems to be less misleading and informative I might add."

"I've never thought of introducing sexual education to a six-year-old."

"It's never too soon. Didn't you say in human years I'm about eighteen?"

"We've created a monster," croaked Helena embarrassed.

"No worries Mom. Your secrets are safe with me. I have no desire to have a mate yet. Maybe in a year or two. I will let you know when it happens."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better." Exasperated, she sighed through the link.

"When we get back, we need to sit down and have a conversation, just us three adults; no offense Leo, but it has to do with planning how we will have you face society, and when we are clear with ourselves, we will need your consent. I went through a heavy transformation a little while ago and without a concrete concept, I would not want to confuse you. I hope you'll bear with me."

"No sweat Dad."

The four reached the place by the hut and the whole village was there, and more. They noticed a few quad bikes, and there must have been at least two hundred people.

Vai and Leilani introduced Gábor and Ivan to many people and Vai remained at Gábor's side most of the time while Leilani stayed with Ivan. Many women and children were there and eyed the guests, smiling wide smiles at them. Only about a third were men out of all those who had gathered, and Leilani told them that most of the village men worked the pearl farms or were doing some fishing, but the main income was from pearls. The men had the women doing the grafting of the pearls whilst the men dove and harvested the oysters. The reason why the women outnumbered the men was that the young men had moved to Tahiti to make money there, and often didn't return to Niau because they didn't see any future for themselves. Ivan thought, with a disdainful intensity; the lure of western concepts corrupting values of humanity; money can buy happiness, it said; thus seeing happiness as a commodity, and he had a foul taste in his mouth. He had money and he didn't have to worry, but he was not making money a source of his happiness.

Right now, he felt content with Leilani willing to take them to a Tahitian tamaaraa and they didn't need any money to have a good time. Everybody contributed with what they'd harvested from the sea, or plants and they shared.

Those who had money from the pearls bought items from Tahiti, like gasoline driven vehicles and outboard motors to power their boats, but a lot of them still lived simple lives and lived off what the land and sea provided. Ivan envied their simple life. These people or most of them lived a simple and happy life without the need to change their world; nature gave them all they needed.